reminder! you’re growing!
I wanted to write a few things for myself to remember when I get stuck in the maze of my monkey mind:
I am officially enrolled in Corepower Teacher Training! This has been something I’ve wanted to do since college. I’m scared and uncomfortable but also I’m so excited and proud of myself for making this hurdle. Growth can only come in the face of challenges which inevitably are uncomfortable (me? shaking hands with fear)
I’ve been in therapy for 4 weeks/4 sessions now and honestly every week I feel more in my body, more in my power, and more aware. I’m glad that my therapist can challenge me & my perception and educate me about my own psychology and patterns so that I can honor it. I’m willing to let go if that means loving myself more & protecting my peace.
I have strengthened all my friendships these past few weeks. This time has allowed me to be fully present and acknowledge the love I do have. It’s abundant and never sways. Last weekend I went out with Austin and Danielle and saw a skit play and my cheeks and jaw hurt from laughing so much- and I didn’t even have a sip of alcohol! Dan n I were our weirdest selves with each other to walking around downtown screaming and laughing. I saw Mak and met new friends on her porch. I connected more with Katie and Felipe, Preston, Kate, and Philip at Kate’s house cooking swimming n listening to music by the bonfire.
I went to a breath work class with Dani yesterday. At first I was judging everyone because they were so free to yell or moan or whatever the fuck they were doing but then I leaned in and honestly, it was a really unique experience. I felt like I was high— actual tingling in my entire body and brain. I let out a lot of energy I’ve held captive and even cried. I surprised myself with how much I let go, and it is cool to have another new experience in life.
I’m planning a long road trip/camping trip to Yosemite this summer!. Nature truly never fails to heal. It’s the one thing I can turn to when I need to feel more whole inside. I want to get a bike beforehand so I can mountain bike there. Excited to hike a 14er, see the stars and the mountains and Touch Grass and Rock…
I deleted all social media (except Reddit, OBVIOUSLY). This is an intentional decision to really ground myself— I need to fully and uncomfortably sit with my feelings and my thoughts. My unhealed self wants to distract myself and get that quick domaine fix of scrolling or even looking at my ex’s photos. My healed self knows this is only setting me back and preventing me from becoming who I want to be. I believe boredom is the answer— meaning if I have no distractions, it forces me to become more creative, more productive, more adventurous. It’s already working and I am on day 6 :)
