on a flight in 2022

boarding the plane on southwest you get to pick your seat. i’m boarding group c which is scary because it is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to options. you gotta pass by everyone already sitting in their seats, which for me 90% of the plane was full. as you pass by each row, you determine which foul animal you want to sit next to. the couple eating a stinky Philly cheesesteak like absolute ravenous gorillas, the 60 year old republicans who want you to have that baby, the beef head friends man spreading who would probably roofie you if you were drunk enough, the couple fighting because their “13 month” won’t stop crying, or what appears to be the only normal person in the middle seat sitting next to the obese guy who chose the window seat. i guess i got the aisle seat and this normal person and i are probably thinking the same shit… hopefully this plane crashes.